What is this thing that lurks inside?
It steals my body and my mind,
It leaves me with a fear so strong
I think and wonder, what is wrong?

I cannot walk the way I should,
I cannot run, I wish I could.
My eyes do not see like before,
I can't remember anymore.

What else will it steal in the morning light?
I cannot let it, I must fight.
How can I fight what I cannot see
This monstrous thing inside of me?

I must go on living and fighting this beast,
I will never give in, I must not cease.
Till one day I hear the words, so clear,
Like an angel whispering in my ear.

Fear not this beast; it will go away.
There will be a cure one special day.
So I fight and I wait and I don't give in,
I wait patiently for this miracle to begin.

I'll run to a field spinning round and round,
A field of violets that surround.
I'll lift myself up and run through the trees,
With a smile on my face, I'm Free, I'm Free!
 

Life's Burden's

Often people say to me "You just won't understand."
"You're way too old." or "Way too young." or 
"You are Not a Man."

I don't know why some people feel they suffer unique pain.
As if they are the only ones who've lost or ceased to gain.
I don't know why they hide their pain and clutch it ever tighter.
It seems to me that all should know - a burden shared gets lighter.

Why some folks even begin to think the pain that's in their heart,
Is all their own, to keep and hoard, they set themselves apart.

They keep their eyes from meeting mine - 
lest I should see their hurt.
And even if we stop and speak their words are often curt.

The Bible says: 'Two' can withstand what overcomes just 'one'.
And also that a 'Cord of Three' can scarcely be undone.

Besides, I know the ways of hurt. 
My heart's been crushed before.  Friends have betrayed.
I've lost at Love.  Despair's knocked at my door.
And I Remember Thoughts gone wild, And crying late at night.
Not having strength to care at all - Much less the strength to fight.
But someone special came to me - And when my trials were told.
I realized that with their tears - They'd eased my heavy load.

And so, I learned that Pain - like Love - is bearable if shared.
I don't know what I would have done without that friend who cared.

My trials did not vanish fast - In fact the time was long.
But sharing gave me breathing space until I could grow strong
Enough to laugh again and even start to smile -
And though it seemed it could not help - It eased my pain awhile.

So, if you think that you can't share cause I won't understand.
At least just give me half a chance to lend a helping hand.
For I know that you're hurting and I know a place to start.
Perhaps if you could realize - Your pain burns in my heart.

I know I cannot make your trials and troubles go away.
But maybe I can help a bit to get you through today.
And maybe by tomorrow you wont need help anymore.
But if you should - Don't be ashamed -
For that's what friends are for.

And after all is said and done - The trials ceased - You're whole.
Perhaps you'll know just what to do to help another soul -
Who's being crushed by hurt and pain - be it woman or a man.
And you won't have to hear them say "You just won't understand."

Get to know yourself -
what you can do
and what you cannot do -
for only you can make your
life happy

Believe that by working
learning and achieving
you can reach your goals
and be successful

Believe in your own creativity
as a means of expressing
your true feelings

Believe in appreciating life
Be sure to have fun every day
and to enjoy
the beauty in the world

Believe in love
Love your friends
your family
yourself
and your life

Believe in your dreams
and your dreams can become
a reality

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,

even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere, life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrender the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

be gentle with yourself

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but
DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victors cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver lining of the clouds of doubt.
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit...
It's when things seem worst that you
MUST NOT QUIT!

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself to others. 
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. 
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. 
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. 
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. 
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. 
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. 
It is by taking chances that we learn to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been,
but, also where you are going.

Life is not a race,
but, a journey to be savored each step of the way. ~~~~~~

GOD
Grant me the SERENITY
To accept the things
I cannot change

The COURAGE
To change the things I can

And the WISDOM to know the difference

When Hitler attacked the Jews I was not a Jew, 
therefore I was not concerned.

And when Hitler attacked the Catholics, 
I was not a Catholic, and therefore, I was not concerned.

And when Hitler attacked the unions and the industrialists, 
I was not a member of the unions and I was not concerned.

Then Hitler attacked me and the Protestant church — 
and there was nobody left to be concerned.
 
 

According to Harry W. Mazal, this is the exact text of what 
Martin Niemöller said, and which appears in the 
Congressional Record, 14, October 1968, page 31636

Invisible Tree, Invisible Me

I used to be strong as a tree,

Bending and swaying, standing tall and proud;

Providing stability for others to lean on, 

And shade for comforting protection.

Stretching strong branches, 

To welcome the challenges Of the changing winds;

Growing taller and stronger

When each new season begins.

Now, this Tree Struggles to stand Against the 

stinging Winds of Chronic Pain.

Winds that cut like knives,

Whittling my branches and core Down to brittle twigs

Of lowered self-esteem.

Riding the never-ending cycles of pain and fear,

Frustration and loneliness have brought me here.

Once again trying to plant new roots,

Trying to grow out of the depths of despair.

Watered with tears, nurtured with perseverance,

Trying to hold my ground.

 All the while, feeling invisible.

For the mirror displays An unrecognizable face,

With sick eyes and tired grace.

A spirit shattered into pieces of lost dreams.... No one can see,

The Invisible Tree, Invisible Me. 

Rita Shaw copyright 1997

The Pied Piper of Pain

They tell me the pain is real, but magnified,

like an ant caught Signals blown awry,

for unknown reasons amplified,

screaming in my mind.

Surely those muscles are torn, twisted, only shreds remain.

That spot, that damnable spot right beneath the shoulder blade

live nerves, raw and red.

All in my head? Of course,

for there lies the destination erroneous, overblown, blaring... 

but real, so damnably real.

Yet look at me, the skin is smooth, unblemished,

no open wounds, no scar to explain the source of the pain.

No broken bones, no swollen limbs. Whole, a picture of health,

denying the missives of pain that course through my nerves real to my mind,

but not to your eye, nor mine.

Still, the signals flow and my body rebels,

refusing to turn off what my mind knows is real.

Yet, I must not, cannot, will not

blindly follow this Pied Piper of Pain

leading down dark alleys to eventually trap me within an invisible,

 immovable prison of my own body, rendered rigid by disuse.

Giving in and giving up is not the easiest path

 inactivity does not equal cessation of pain,

nor stillness, peace.

I must learn the gauges and measures needed to balance

living my life and living with pain.

I cannot hold myself to the standards of those temporarily able-bodied,

 who would judge me by limbs still straight and skin unbroken, vision unblemished.

Instead, I must forgive myself when rest is needed

while others forge ahead,

and relief from pain required tho the source is invisible to human eye.

Through days of fog, and memory clouded,

I shall remember one thought to be true... 

I will not, must not, shall not,

cannot surrender to the siren song of the Pied Piper of Pain.

Rita Shaw copyright 1997

Caregiver

Caregiver, what an inadequate word
to describe what it is that you do.
Lifesaver is more fitting a word
for what comes so freely from you.

I don’t have to ask for what I need
it appears quietly at my side.
You never complain, you never begrudge
you let me keep my pride.

It’s hard for those of us who are
no longer who we were before.
It doesn’t make you love us less
If anything, you love us more.

It truly is a gift from God
the way you care for me.
If I did not have you in my life.
I cannot think of where I would be.

You don’t get the praise that you deserve
for standing solid and true
It’s not enough to say just ‘thanks’.
It’s enormous, this thing that you do.

You truly are a wonder
a treasure beyond price.
You stuck by me through the raging storm.
Not ever thinking twice.

A weaker soul would run away
from the sickness and the pain.
But not you, not ever
You’re always here, again and again.

So to you, dear ‘caregiver’
My heart lies at your feet
you are the reason it functions still.
You are every strong, solid beat.

Kathleen Easter 2001